Time well spent or wasted?

I'm sitting here wondering weather I should go visit my grandad or not on my way to fionnuala's for can's with people. It's not that I don't like him or anything, I just have a problem with some of his views, particularly racism and stuff. When we were smaller, he used to come around every sunday for breakfast after mass. I used to go to mass every Sunday until I reached first year. Then the choice was given to me. I chose to stop. It got boring. I lost faith once I started to question everything. ect ect. That's a post for another day. Well, soon after, my grandad stopped coming around on sundays. My parents say he wanted to see would we visit him. I guess we(by we I mean my brother, sister and I) never really did. Well he didn't take this so well, given I can walk to his house within 3 minutes. I never really had any excuse not to see him. He stopped visiting, so gradually he grew further and further away. I've tried going around to him weekly and stuff but, I've no idea how to keep up a conversation with him one like I spend any kinda prolonged period of time with him. It's hard.

I guess this all comes from the fact that, Even for my 21st birthday. He just put my card in the letter box, and never rang or anything. I got ninja'd by my grandad O.o
I have a problem with this. My twenty first birthday was the first birthday that I actually was looking forward to and got excited about since I was 14. I just have a problem because he wouldn't even come in and see me. He wouldnt knock at the door and hand me the card. Yet he expects me to go sit with him for I don't know how long on a regular basis? I don't know.

Am I being horrible over something I shouldn't be? I know I'm not right. I'm just between being in the middle and being wrong. It's just how far along. I don't really know.
He should stop being such a stubborn man.

I guess I hold a grudge against him for something he done a long time ago. That is actually family business so I won't discuss it. I just I don't know. I just needed to Vent.

Family is important. I know this. I just..think it's been too long.