10.3.10

A few things have happened in the last few days, for one, and im sure not only I have noticed this. THE FUCKING SUN IS SHINING! roll on summer bruv.

Work, I'm now on a 3 days a week, and 2 and a half day a week bi-weekly roster, to try allow some kind of social life. I guess it will have to make do. In 7-11 on the 2nd week. That hurts but it kinda works if I want to go to an all age gig on the saturday :)

In college, I lied. I lied to qualify for a grant. Given the currant econmic climate I had to do it. My mother being so hell bent on me going to college, paid for my college fee's on her credit card. Bad idea right? Well, My mother seems to care about my future.. I was told today, I would Quailify. I'm not sure how much but I will be getting some. Since I Live comfortably on what I earn and I feel im quite generous with my money. I await Monday to fully find out what's going on. I still think it was wrong to lie about it. I can lie to a form, and post it to someone to look at, but i had to stand there and lie to the girl who was only doing her job and asking me about it. I hated that.

I've been thinking alot about growing apart from people, I hate when this happens, but it happens to everyone sometimes. The only difference is that some people always come back after a while you know? Sometimes others don't or just take longer. You obviously got along well enough the first time, there was a connection or else you wouldn't miss them if they left. So I want to just talk about things, that should be plainly obvious to some people that it's about them.

it's been sunny, I have walked home from college the last two days. I walked past you're road. It's annoying. Being plain and blunt, I was told everyone thought a previous entry was about you. It's not but now looking back i can seriously see why everyone thought it was. It's not though. It was about someone else. I don't think I could be like that to you after everything. I feel very weird writing an apoligie for something I never considered to be about you. I am sorry if you thought that was about you. I just know, you have a problem with me, atleast I think you do and being perfectly honest it bug's the shit out of me. To not talk to someone, it takes a strong reason. We were close, a while back. I loved that closeness. You brought me to your debs, I remembered when you asked me, I was actually so excited and It meant something proper to me. I have alot of good memories of jokes and conversations with you. I'd mention more but this again, is public so I wont. I know, things will probably not ever go back to how they were but I would atleast try be friends again.

It's 4,01 am. Where are you? I remember I used to have to drag myself off the computer when you insisted in staying online. I'm used to not sleeping, but EVERYONE else sleeps eventually. You girl just stay up for as long as I did. I met my match and I found that oddly attractive. We were so close, Like i said to you, when we recently started talking again, I didn't spend every day talking to you, to not pay attention to the things you siad. I know sometime soon, I'm gonna be like "Yo" and you're going to reply "Heya or Hey" and were going to be up all night again. Just like old times. :)

I miss you something terrible. It's scary sometimes. You're never that far away. You also send me nice texts, when you think about me randomly. I like them. I smile alot when i get them. I understand your reasons for moving back home. I just enjoyed having you close for a while. It made a difference in my life. We are not as close as we were when you first moved up, but sure I know were the kinda mates who will, after no matter how long we spend apart, see each other and talk like we seen each other the day before. Strangley enough, I regard patting girls on the head "Your" thing now. I don't do it (very much) to other girls anymore. If that means something, cool If not. I miss you. Enjoy boston. You need it babe.