06.3.10

Another Saturday, another wasted Saturday. I've been going on recently about trying to re-assemble my social life, I changed days in my job from saturday to tuesday, I ended up getting to work both, which was alright for the money really, So I didn't mind. My boss said give him two weeks to sort it out, I ended up with it for 5 weeks. I'ts cool I could live with the money. Finally he hire's someone else, that as far as i know would work saturdays and I'd be off. It's funny how nothing goes to plan isnt it? So since I don't have saturdays off, I'll miss nadia's birthday dinner tonight, johanna's birthday party after. I might even miss danny's eighteenth. It's getting to be really shit lately. I just need some semblance of life back...I'm sinking.

Today i deleted your number in an attempt to get you out of my system, I don't think it will help, it's been long enough and I haven't been able to flush you from my system. I guess I'm not that strong enough. I know this is even unfair on you, You never promised me anything, I knew I'd have to be lucky because well, I'm aware of the fatal realisations that I'm usually good enough to be a best mate, but nothing more. I can live with this with you though. It's harder than it was but I'm a big boy, I'll manage. It helps to know, I'll always be close when you call, I'll always come running when you want me to. It helps for me to know You'll never be lonely and You'll always be loved aslong as you pick someone who make's you happy. I know you're not the foolhardy type to just pick any lad with you're eyes, even when he's a dickhead. So good luck babe. Text me if you feel like it x

I'm always cheered up by you, When i want to just get covered up, and relax with you're there. I never even need to ask, you never refuse to spend time with me. You don't get annoyed by my dog like everyone else does. He loves you just as much as i do. When its important you know? to always be able to do what you do for me, I really have no idea what i'd have done these last few weeks without you constantly being there for me. I've just hit these moods, where I think about you and just abandon whatever else I'm doing to just come home and dive at you.I love you Bed :)