Tumblr.

I've kinda made a private blog on tumblr for the moment. I don't feel like I can say much on this that won't get back to others. I'll use tumblr for a while and I might transfer it over when I'm finished with it.

Don't sell us tomorrow, if your're gonna change today.

It's been a while since I've blogged.

When it comes to Christmas I get shit loads of college stuff to do and I feel kinda guilty about blogging when I could be typing work. It's the same as reading a book for enjoyment when I could be researching something. I always feel guilty. I hate it.

Since I've not written a post with anything actual substantial in it in quite a while I think It's safe to say, life is boring. I found really that my life is not boring. It's fucking Christmas for fuck sake.

There's a few things different about this year though. I've a job. I'm actually happy and Excited for this year. The last thing thats different is that, I've a girl. I don't mean in the ownership way. I just mean, I've never been seeing anyone, during the time of Christmas, I've started the day after sure but it's not the same thing.

It's just different. Sure were probably not gonna spend it together or anything but it's nice to just have someone to be happy with in the time when I'm usually happiest in the year.

A traitor on the inside.

This is bullshit. My eyes feel like they are on fire. My feet hurt. My brains gonna fucking implode from over-thinking if I don't sleep. I just know I won't sleep though and I know why.

I think it's time for us to take a chance. I still don't know what's going on. Everything seemed so, going to plan. It's amazing how things change day to day. I just feel like this is some kind of test. Not one placed by you on myself but one for myself. You probably wont understand this but it doesn't really matter.

Number Game.

I played this numbers game on facebook the other day, I never got around to answering them all. I just wanted to see who would mail me. I enjoyed thinking back. I enjoyed the little game and stuff. This is what I said and the numbers. ♥

150 - I've Always loved you since our first conversation. I have so many of your messages on old phones. I could say so many nice things about you as i've done so many times before. You are by far, the best drunk. Ever.

69- I knew you of all people would pick this number. Nearly a year since I've seen you now. Thats kinda fucking ridiculous at this stage. I miss our late night chats. :(

133 - You're a fucking douche and I hate you. But you're my douche. I'm gonna keep you for a very long time.

412- You always just come into my life, for about 48 hours then fly right back out for another while. It's crazy. We talk very little these days but your still one of them people I'll always kinda feel close to? I know that if i ever need to be warmed up, to go to you because you'll always have tea with you :D

10 - The best lad I've met in '10 I love our drunken chats and our gay antics. If anyman was the one for me, it'd be you ;)

103 - Talk about a history with someone. We've got pretty much no contact anymore. I can wait though. I always have waited and I always will be waiting for when you need me again. The girl I can just talk to after so so long as it would be as if I seen her yesterday. Best girl ♥

86 - Physically you're so far away. but really, I always keep you close. I love you girl. ♥

1 - You've no idea how much this number applies to you right now. You've also no idea how quick I'm running out of new nice things to say about you as the days go by. We talk to much and I wouldn't want it any other way.

333 - Never has someone been responsible for a worse hangover than you.. Absynth(spelling?) hurts like a mother fucker. I have a funny SS for you actually. I'll send you later :)

270 - one of my fondest memories ever will always be the both of us sitting in the freezing cold listening to music from my mp3 player. Using is as an excuse to get closer to you. You are such a babe. I love you. Christmas drinks? ♥

‎32 - I actually think you are mad easy to talk to. There was never any of that new person awkwardness when we started talking. I liked that :D

23 - I remember all the things you used to slag me off with, every chance you get you'd take a shot at me. I always laughed so hard at them. I still look back to them days with great bit smile. You better get back into it. If not I'll be sad :(

11 - You will always be my little baba. I remember way back when it all started with us. such a long time ago. but I love thinking back. :D

Tonights the night.

I rule the night and I need no help.

Today was fun, I spent most of the day sleeping. considering I got 3 hours sleep on saturday night and then had work the next day, It really was not fun. I got up, and done college work. Then I done what I usually do, I game.

It was unreal, I haven't really had anything to consider a memorable game in quite a while. I had some nice games of halo with jay the last two weeks. Tonight was different.

I played a game of LoL that lasted 75 minutes. Most games last around 30 minutes. I love gaming, it's one thing I've very passionate about. Playing with 4 others, and having to play together. I love it.

Caught between a rock and a very hard place.

I've been posting about being happy lately. I am happy.

I'm happy today especially, because well, I've been wondering where we are going, what does the future have for us? I want it to have something, anything at all, to do with you. I want it because, well I'll be happy once you're in that future. I told you today, I was always afraid you wouldn't have been on the same track as me, or when I told you that you'd have other plans. I was afraid. I'm not anymore and it feels amazing. You've been wanting me to say something about you in this for a while. I am unsure why. This is it I guess. You're out cold right now, I don't think I'l text you tonight. I think you need your sleep. This isn't as much as I'd like to say. I'll tell it all sometime, but for now, the secrets in the telling. whenever that is

Serious contemplation of dropping out going on...

All for one, and one for all.

I don't care what anyone says, these days distance means nothing.

I was sitting here, and I heard a song, The song has nothing to do with what came to mind apart from the fact it was just a love song, all be it one of my favourites.

I'll start with what first brought me to write this post. I've this friend, and this friends got this girl. This girls got this place thats far from my friend. My friends going to go to this place and he's gonna be with his girl. My friend and his girl are gonna be happy.

I just got this picture of my friend and his girl on some sofa in her far away place and hes spawled out on a couch or sofa and shes leaning against him and they are just happy.

This friend and I go way back, infact I was thinking about it in work, that we're gonna still be friends in all them years from now and even if this friend goes to this far away place and decides to be with his girl. I'll be alright with that. I just decided that I needed something to look forward to. I needed something that's not gonna be easy to do. I maybe jumped the mother fucking gun a bit but, I decided, that well, I'm gonna be the one to you know, do the best man speech at his wedding. I don't know if it's gonna be to this girl or not, Only time will really tell with that one. I kinda hope it is, but shush.

PewPew.

I've been thinking alot lately, and my minds not really gonna let myself sleep untill I have it out of my head.

If I could reply to to what you just asked me, my answer would actually just be "You" Then I'd sleep like a baby.

It actually feels like I've the biggest Vagina ever tonight. Sexism and all aside, that was just my descriptive term that came to mind.

I got interupted writing this, now I lack the will to finish it. Meh.

For starters

It's december. It's nearly christmas. It's snowing like fuck. I'm happy. I'm actually just really happy lately. I don't know weather it's a certain someone, or if it's a combination of things. I just know I'm happy to stay like this for a while. Just float.