For no man, no cause, no war because there no cause is greater than life.
Life is here with my friends and family.
When I was alone, my return was all I dreamed of.
Now the reality of being home, is greater than any dream.
To you my fellow travelers I will carry you always, in my heart of hearts.
If we perish, we do so as one.
Because it is with my friends and family I will stay until the end.
The ghost of what I was, will haunt me no longer.
For now I know that I am loved. I am free. - Telemicas Radea.

It's time to keep moving with this blog.

Where to start?

I guess things are changing. I am never a fan of change. Especially when It's not on my own terms.

Give no quarter, for you shall receive none.

Love, loyalty and betrayal.

Loyalty is an amazing thing. to be able to count on someone when you need them. To pledge you allegiance to something or someone, to an idea that you believe is bigger than yourself.

Theres an feint glow of light in the room, surrounded by bloody corpses, discarded swords and remnants of broken armour two combatants who have fought side by side and back to back for near on one hundred years stood recovering from what had just ensued. They were there when the kingdom they lived in, the society they swore an oath to uphold, protect and police fell. Two hundred years of their lives they had given to it's protection and It took one night for it all to just ceased to exist. Betrayed by someone feigning loyalty. Now this women is a tyrant. In a society that never ages, tyranny is an atrocity.

Something was different about tonight, it was as if they had been here before. They had, the planning, the disguises, the execution of the plan, It had all worked as before but something had always given the tyrant prior warning and she escaped from the justice she deserved. She knew her perusers were too good. She'd never be able to keep them away forever.

She sat there. at the top of the room, most guards dead and those not, had ran for their lives. That's the thing about men who give their loyalty out of fear. When the fear of their opponent outweighs the fear of their master, they will run, they run as if hell is behind them ready to swallow them whole. Her gaze was unyielding, her eyes were emerald green and her blonde hair shined in the light that came from two blazing fires on either side of her throne. her posture made her look as if she was composed of stone, she had no fear of had just happened.

The older of the men, while they both looked in their late twenties the older was in fact nearly 50 years the senior of his comrade. He approached the throne sword in hand staring at the woman before him. Teim, the younger man began to follow Orran, the older man to the throne when Orran turned his blade on Teim, Arm out stretched ready to defend the woman behind him. Teim looked in his friends eyes, and their it was, something he'd never seen before. Hatred. Hatred that burned so fiercely in his eyes it looked as if it could come to life and evelope Teim inside it.

"Why are you defending her?" Teim shouted.

"How can I not? Love demands such things" Orran shouted back.

They were but 10 feet apart but their chests released so much energy that every word became manifest of their emotion.

"Love? how can love demand such things? She is an abomination. She is everything that is wrong with the world" Teim retorted.

"Love demands we put others before ourselves. We must fight to keep it alive" Orran tried to sound just.

"How can you love her? After all she's done to us. After everyone she's hurt, killed and enslaved" Teim's voice began to break as he remembered it all instantly in his head

"It's now how can I love her, I've loved her for so long It's how can I not love her?"

"I don't understand, what are you talking about?" Teim sounded baffled.

"You've always asked me, how could we have been so blind? how could all we care about just fall in one night. We done nothing, we didn't fight, we didn't have a chance to defend what we loved. You're wrong. You never had a chance. You were where I sent you. Some farm far out on the edge of the kingdom. I was at court. I fought for what I loved that night, I fought with my heart thumping, my arm swinging as if it coudln't be stopped. The coup d'état that had started with her, and ended with me, my sword plunged within the kings chest, I've loved her all this time."

"You.. you can't have done this, it's madness. The man I've fought all these years with was the betrayer of everything. It makes me sick that I had never known. Why fight? why fight with me to restore what you helped to destroy?"

"That doesn't matter anymore! It's here and now that matters. We stand here. You are here to take the life of all that I have left to love, and I've to stop you. It's that simple"

"It's never that simple!"

The sound of metal striking metal echoed around the room once more, they began to fight, it was elegant. It was ruthless but most of all it was even. Every blow was met with a parry and after every parry was a counter blow. The metal swords were being struck against each other harder than they had ever been struck before. This was it, it ended tonight. Orran would win and kill any hope for a restored kingdom or Teim would win and his best friend and mentor would be dead and he'd be alone.
Both warriors were tiring, they had just fought past guard after guard once they had entered the castle. now they faced each other, knowing how each fights, his style his very being that comes out through the use of his sword. Orran managed to force Teim off balance as he pushed him over the corpse of a soldier that had probably died for nothing. He disarmed Teim and forced him to his knee's. he stood over him with his sword to Teims neck, any more pressure and the tip would force blood. The woman that sat behind the combatants shrieked with excitement, she had won. She had finally won. She rose up and walked to her lover. she put her head over the back of his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.

"I always knew you'd come back to me, You left me all those years ago but I knew, kill him and be done with it"

"Get away from me woman!, You know nothing of this. You will never understand"

She backed away, fear taking control, she placed her faith in the fact that he'd never stopped loving her, now she fears she was wrong.

He turned his attention back to Teim, the hatred was at its apex and then it changed, he dropped his sword and stood there and stared into the eyes of his friend. then he began to move towards the door, as if nothing happened.

"I give up, Teim do what you came here to do" he said as he walked

Teim had already gotten to his feat and replaced his grip around the hilt of his sword, he dashed forward and placed it into the small of Orrans back.

"BETRAYER, I will not let you leave"

"I surrender" Orran said, he had not expected Teim to pick him, over killing the queen. If you could call the tyrant that, but If you capture me alive, I will escape, You know I will"

He used this time and hesitation in Teim to turn around, the sword now pointing into his stomach.

Teim raised it and placed it over Orrans heart.

"If you decide to play Judge, jury and executioner with a man that has surrendered than you will be rendering everything you've fought for the last two hundred years and everything you will rebuild with this restored kingdom meaningless. If I had killed you, the world would mourn the loss of a great man, one the last few defenders of justice and giver of hope to the people. If you kill me, then a great man will get to mourn the loss of his soul and you don't want to do that..I swear to god.. you don't want to..." he pressed forward, moving the sword that bit harder into his chest.

"That's what happened to you. You lost your soul... You lost your soul"

"Ofcourse I lost my soul, I've spent the last two hundred years trying to reclaim it, piece it back together by fighting all the injustice I created. The poverty, the enslavement, the torture and the killings. I STARTED IT. I had to choose between the two things I loved, The woman who shared my bed, who laughed at my jokes and spoke to my soul like no other, or the society that I was born and raised to defend, to protect and care for. In one night, one choice, one single act of insanity changed everything. I chose her he flung his arm forward with his finger out stretched at the woman who had sat back in her throne. This vile temptress and harlot. I lost my soul because of her..."

Teim realized that Orran had hatred in his eyes, but the hatred was not for the Queen nor for Teim. It was for himself, he honestly hated every fibre of his own being. He regretted his mistake more than anything else he could ever do. Teim looked at the shell of what had been once a great awe inspiring man and felt a pang of sorryness.

He released his muscles that kept his blade on his friends heart. "I will not lose my soul killing you, I'm not ready..to sacrifice my soul. Not for you" he then began to walk toward the doors.

"so this is how it ends?"Orran said, in a voice barely audible over his own whimpering.

Teim was so fast that she didn't have time to move. He bent down, picked up a dagger from his ankle spun around so fast and threw it. Thud. That was the sound of it penetrating her heart and embedding itself in the back of hardwood throne. She died in the place she took from those who deserved it.

"No, this is how it begins"

"Hey"

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm good, you?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. Wrecked though"

"Hey, feel like catching up?"

"Sure, if you're around you can stall it down"

"Can we just go out for a walk? It's cold, lashing and the wind can't possibly mess up my hair more than it already is"

"Sure, usual place? Be there in 10 :) "

These. Make. My. Life.

The man with the lions heart.

They walk side by side, laughing, smiling. Happy to just be within the presence of each other. She says something, they both break into a fit of laughter.

They start to walk forward, suddenly he grabs her hand, she's caught in the motion of him spinning her around to face him.

He stares and her, blankly, his eyes start to water he takes a deep breath. This is all the hope and courage he can muster. "I'm the gambler"

She smiles, she doesn't know what's coming.

"I believe in giving this a chance" he says while trying to keep her stare locked.

Her smile slowly dissipates and her shiny blue eyes, glow from the white behind them.

She finally realizes what he means, "You mean us?" she says, her mouth moving slowly as if unsure how to form the lip movement in order for the sound to come out coherently.
"No we can't, this isn't something I can give up.."

He cuts her off, his voice filled with the confidence needed, this was no time to falter. "No, don't do that, that is no reason.."

He grabs her waist pulling closer. He kisses her, she smiles and kisses back. It feels like this was always coming, just they never quite knew when to be ready for it.

She suddenly breaks it off, "No we can't. Just no"

"Why?... Why?" he says, his voice getting shaky, all the hope he had, was beginning to die.

She says "You think you're protecting me, but really you're the one that needs protecting"

"Protecting? his voice becoming serious and mundane. Protecting from what?

Her voice wells up. she begins to cry. "From me....I, I don't have your lions heart"

He tries again, he begins to plead "Just give it a chance, please.. It's all I'm asking"

No, she exclaims, she's regretting the thoughts that are sitting on the to of her brain, just waiting to become words that might just destroy something amazing

"You said it yourself, The definition of insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again expecting a different outcome"

He's starting to get angry, he took a leap of faith here. Hoping to make his life better, hoping to start something might just last for life.. "lets just go for a different outcome then, hear me out alright? You know when you talk to older couples? Who have been in love for Thirty, Fourty, Fifty years. It's always the guy who says I knew" She's starting to take in breaths, she doesn't know what to say. The rush of everything is so fast. Her heart is beating, Her heart is thumping. "I knew" he repeats "right from the beginning" she's shaking her head, denying what's being said to her. her tears and overflowing. Her attempts at holding them back have become redundant. "I'm that guy. I'm your guy, I know"

She's panting, she's looking at him, while he's throwing everything he has at her just for the chance she might let him in, that she might return what he's let out to her tonight. "I'm not a gambler" She says to him, "I don't have your kind of heart, I can't change. I don't know how" He's staring at her, he can't handle what she's saying. It's killing him to hear the words that she's saying. "I don't know how" she says again finally after a few seconds gap while tears are still slowing down her cheeks.

His mouth is hanging open. He exhales as if he's letting everything out. He finds a near by wall, and leans his back against it. He hangs is head and takes a deep breath in, trying to regain his stature.

"you're right" he says "you're right" She stands beside him. tears flowing softer now, she looks at him, can we still be friends?" she asks. He turns his head. He's no longer staring at her. It's like his watery eyes are trying to see what's under her soft skin. He looks away. Then he looks up to the sky, trying to figure out what to do, what to say. She's looking at him, waiting for the reply, one last tear streams down her cheek. She hasn't blinked, she's hesitant. She clearly loves this guy, she probably cares about him more than she knows yet. She just isn't ready.

slowly, he begins to nod, once, then twice more. "Yeah, we can" She lets out a little smile, "thank you.." he turns to her, takes a deep breath "but I've got to move on..I've got to find someone who's going to love me, in thirty years, fourty or fifty"

She moves off the wall, he begins to walk forwards hands in his pockets. she walks beside him, she lets her body bump into his as they walk. They turn their heads to each other. they smile, She links her arm in his, leans her head on his shoulders as they walk. They just keep walking..

I love late night conversations. Conversations that show you're actually talking to the person you're conversing with. No "how are you?" type stuff with the basic replies. I mean when one person genuinely cares about the welfare of the receiver of the question. You've been a big a part of my life as I've been of yours since you entered my life all those years ago. It's been years. It really doesn't seem it. I'll be you're rock for as long as you are in need. This is what I am. I don't care if your from here, from there or from anywhere. Home is where the heart is. You've got your heart in all the right places. It's all I care about.

I really wish you'd throw your pride aside and show your friends some faith.
Maybe I'm not asking for a lot, maybe I am but really I'm just asking for you to let me in. It's like I'm standing at a door I can't break down by force. I've no intention of hurting what you're guarding with this impregnable barrier. I just want to put back something I took a long time ago.


It's late night and a man stands under the bright light of a fully engaged street lamp on the corner of a housing estate. He's got sweat dripping from his furrowed brow. He's got his heart set on the upcoming moment. Fists clenched. It's going to be intense. It's going to be when he let's everything go...

It's getting later, the weathers starting to deteriorate, the wind getting the chill. Where was the moment? It's not usually this long in the wait.

Footsteps crunching the twigs and fragile branches in the grass a few feet away. This is it, it's here... He's here.

Shoulders widen. Intimidation is everything. It all comes down to this. This is the moment that could save it all, this is the moment that could seal it all away forever.

I just needed to say "I can't......."