No expectations, No Disappointments. - I wish I could live like this.

People say you only live once, but they are as wrong about that as they are about everything.


In the darkest moments before dawn, a woman returns to her bed. What life is she leading?
Is it the same life she was leading a half hour ago? A day ago? A year ago? Theres a man in her bed. Who is this man? Do the lead separate lives or is it a life shared?

She says "Do you love me?"
He muffles a reply "I do love you"

A storm approaches, it's still over the horizon but there is lightning in the air. Are either of them aware of the gathering turbulence? Can they feel the crackle of elecricity in the wind or are they only aware of the power they generate between themselves.

You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, that's the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart, maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same light. Those are the risks. That is the burden. If life teaches anything it's that you have to take the good with the bad, take the risks that could lead to happiness or sadness. When life is good hold onto it for all it's worth. When things get you down, hold you're chin up because another thing that life teaches us is that nothing, not the good or the bad, will last forever.

You all want to lose yourself in another person.
You believe love is transcendent and eternal.
I want to believe that too.

The question on my mind, tonight is the following:

Is it worth it to fight for someone, who will not fight for you?

Who are you fighting for?

I clicked the new post button. It's been a while.

It's been a turbulent few weeks/months.
I kinda stopped writing here because, I use this as an outlet to talk to myself.
It's usually about people. There's no sense in writing about people who probably don't want me discussing them here. Given attitudes towards me. I'll do the smart thing and just not get into it here.

Let me re-introduce myself as a man with a cause. I've had alot of time to think and to look at who we are. I've got nothing left to say. We've just got to carry on.

Today, I realised that I don't stand a chance out of my bubble. I'm just not capable.

Highs and lows.

Tonight someome asked me "What would make you happy and smile un controllably right now?"

I instantly knew what would do it, and I smiled so much.

I shortly realised it's not going to happen. I spent the night feeling like shit after.